Non-trans people take gender for granted. No matter how many times they may wish they were the opposite gender, they don't exist and identify with the gender opposite from what they were physically born as. Non-trans people don't know what it's like to be unable to interact with society day to day just because people they interact with use the wrong pronouns. Until you've lived the experience of having people respond to you and interact with you as the wrong gender, you won't even understand that you're taking your gender identity for granted. It's something you never know is there, unless it's contradicted.

A very large percentage of people on this Earth would not pass a "gender test" - surprised? Don't be. There are many different ways to determine gender, and at birth, doctors make their best educated guess based on the external appearance of genitals. Many people don't have the stereotypical male or female genitals and/or reproductive organs. More people fall into this category than the general public is aware of. There are so many variations of Intersexed conditions that even include chromosomes such as XXY, XYY, XXYY, XXXY, XXXXY, XXX, XXXX and XXXXX to name a few...

... gender is not concrete, nor is it purely physical or purely emotional. In the grand scheme of things, gender does not exist. Unfortunately, we are human and live in a polar reality in which gender is expressed through society's concept of what is physically male and female. Male and female, however, are carefully constructed social roles. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, and I don't believe that the physical body determines gender or even sex.

Our pure spiritual beings are neither male nor female but encompass all. There is no gender where we all come from - at the original source - but until we return to the light from which we came, gender will be very real for all of us.

While some FTM's prefer to be out and visible as trans* people, others choose to live what they call a "stealth" lifestyle. Stealth in this case simply means "undetected."

I personally find the term stealth a bit awkward. It seems to imply that there is something to be hidden. While it is true that those who choose to remain stealth are technically hiding their past as a female bodied person, I see no difference between that and someone who chooses not to allow the world to know they were born with one testicle or a malformed heart. None of that should matter to the rest of society. The only thing that matters in this moment is who you are and not who you've been or who others have thought you to be. No one else's judgment is correct relating to your life but your own.

I have chosen to be "out" in the sense that I am not going to pretend that I have a penis, or that I was born male. I am not going to pretend that I don't know what it's like to have menstrual cramps or to have navigated through part of my life as a woman. If people are going to assume that I am a male-born male and because of that, assume I have had certain life experiences that I haven't, that is their choice. I refuse to smile and nod and pretend that I have experienced things I have not. I also refuse to allow people to tell me that I have not experienced certain things which I have. For example, if a woman in my presence complains of having menstrual cramps and I offer some form of pain relief which does not personally work for her - if she tells me something along the lines of, "you're a man you wouldn't understand" I am going to make it politely clear to her that I was born with ovaries and I do understand.

I live my life the way I want to, regardless of whether others accept who I am. I do not believe in pretending to be someone I am not. I respect those who choose to live a stealth life - their life path is different than mine and there is no reason they should be open about having been born female. It is not anyone else's place to make that decision for them. Having said that, it is not anyone's place to decide for me that I should be stealth.